I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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