that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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