im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
