When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
