I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
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