dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize