I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
