Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
