She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
