I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
