he was CRYING into my vagina
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Randomize
