it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
