did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize