Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
