you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
