Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
