I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
