Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
my liver is dry heaving
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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