i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
