At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
