I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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