My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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