k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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