You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize