he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
