Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
