Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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