Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
