just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize