i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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