No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
