i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
