If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
