just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
