I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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