My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
