Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
