I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
