the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I look excited, but its just a facade.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
