Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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