I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I forget how to act sober
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
