In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
