my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
