I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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