who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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