it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
