I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
