i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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