so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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