He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
