So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
