Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
