apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He passed out mid-signature
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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