hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
