You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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