Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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